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Paul Stephen Derochie

[ website | Fontana on mywaste ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Yo whuddup... [14 Feb 2017|07:19pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

Still get anxious before a show. Hate it, but kind of hope it never goes away.

Everything is against you

Whuddup??? [31 Oct 2016|11:41pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Still at it after fourteen years. Cool, I guess.

Everything is against you

The dance from which all dances come. [18 Jul 2015|12:46pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's weird, this past week I've been on the biggest MC5 kick that I've been on in 10+ years. For all the music I've gotten into since, I don't think I've tripped as hard on anything as I did with the MC5. Listening to it today is like tapping into some inalterable part of my subonscious, ineffable and inexplicable. Maybe it's because this obsession was cultivated totally free of cynicism. Maybe earnestness is the way.

1 Realize| Everything is against you

It's symbolic of course. [18 Apr 2015|09:33am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Ozzy rules.

Everything is against you

Solitude... [21 Feb 2015|12:09pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Of the things I associate with my immediate demographic, that which I am perhaps most perplexed, fascinated and ultimately disgusted by are these Detroit party "lifestyle brands". I keep waiting for someone to step forward and concede that, "we're just kidding, this entire thing has been a cleverly orchestrated joke and a thorough social experiment," but my hope for that outcome grows dimmer every day.

Everything is against you

Word is bond. [06 Dec 2014|08:15am]
[ mood | sore ]

Get pissed. Lift weights. Listen to jazz or metal. I have to practice guitar more. My focus has gone out the window. I should do 50/50 coffee and tea. Can't believe I haven't drank the darker stuff in over a month. Also gotta finish that book on Portuguese missionaries in Japan in the 16th century. Time to go to werk!

Everything is against you

That which we cannot convey with words. [04 Nov 2014|09:28pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I had a dream last night that took place at a riverside park. The relatively fast moving river was visible from a concrete embankment roughly ten feet above the flowing water. As I stood at this scenic overloook, gazing down upon the river, I heard a couple screaming about twenty yards away. I quickly ascertained that their child had fallen into the water and was being swept away by the current. I looked to see the child of about four floating away bobbing beneath the surface. The eerie part was how his eyes stayed locked with mine both above and beneath the surface. Assumedley the child drowned and I woke up with this enourmous regret for not having jumped into the water to save the child, though the only likely result of this would have been my drowning as well. I don't know if this means anything. I'm almost positive it doesn't . Aren't dreams just randomly occurring images and ideas reconstructed piecemeal by the memory after the fact? I don't know. I do know this however: I am completely and utterly fucking burned out.

Everything is against you

He'll give you peace... [27 Oct 2014|10:34pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

October 2014 for me has been spent primarily in Flint, MI with an all too brief, four day stay in Seattle, WA sandwiched somewhere in there. Moods have been adjusted accordingly.

1 Realize| Everything is against you

Cheers mate! That record was mad as hell! [22 Sep 2014|09:27pm]
[ mood | full ]

I held a baby for the first time yesterday. I also spent $30.00 on loose leaf tea. This has been a strange year.

Everything is against you

With my eyes... wide... open. [05 Sep 2014|03:00pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

After some fairly extensive research, I am considering, somewhat seriously, taking mushrooms for the purpose of confronting and ultimately managing the anxiety I face about life on a daily basis. The fact that I, at the age of almost 27, have become serious about correcting the obessive thoughts and feelings of dread that I once accepted and allowed to consume me for years says quite a bit in and of itself.

Everything is against you

Era of Manifestations... [11 May 2014|06:14pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Practiced with Fontana for the first time in almost four and a half years. I feel completely exhausted and totally pure.

Everything is against you

Phew! [22 Apr 2014|11:10pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Virtually everything I wrote in 2008-09 referenced either drinking too much coffee, masturbating too much or both in concert with one another. I'm not sure if either of those things have necessarily changed but now all I seem to write about is God as either a manmade construct or as an Albert Ayler solo.

1 Realize| Everything is against you

Oh boy... [11 Dec 2013|11:11pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I have a bad habit of spending more time than I should reading Christian conservative Facebook pages. Sometimes an asinine comment on a post will lead me to an individual's profile which can offer a fairly intimate view into the belly of the beast. I recently perused one woman's profile that included among the usual self aggrandizing "I'm-saved-you're-damned-fuck-you" crap, a picture of Barack Obama in blackface(?), eating fried chicken, a post declaring women to be "WAY too moody to be president," and a status lamenting the fact that though she loves the lyrics, she hates country music and prefers hard rock and heavy metal even though both promote "satanism and liberal ideals," to which someone replied remarking on how they themselves have to fight "temptation" every time they hear "Slow Ride," and it's all pretty funny until you realize that these people exist and vote, or, put more simply, that these people exist.

Everything is against you

October guilt... [26 Oct 2013|11:58am]
[ mood | cold ]

So-and-so is "not a political band" essentially means so-and-so "doesn't want people to know they're Nazis."

Everything is against you

Death to the world... [05 Oct 2013|02:49am]
[ mood | restless ]

Barlaam of Khutyn.

Everything is against you

The beauty within... [20 Sep 2013|10:34pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

An unbiased, physiological reaction to external stimuli indifferent to pain or logic, the shimmering path towards God, or both coming together as one?

Everything is against you

The monastic weeps for Axum... [08 Sep 2013|12:52pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the act of verbal communication that I feel as though I would find much safety and security in the confines of some monastery in some far away corner of Asia Minor some few hundred years after the life and death of Christ. Or something.

Everything is against you

St. Elmo's Fire... [01 Sep 2013|12:15am]
[ mood | angry ]

I'm just trying to be happy and productive. Why do people feel they have to make you feel weird about that?

Everything is against you

Adult world... [25 Aug 2013|09:17pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

Some of my friends are getting married. I feel awful young.

This is the first year since 2008 I will not be werking at Detroit Jazz Festival, this bums me out truly.

Everything is against you

Becoming a skinwalker... [22 Aug 2013|11:16pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Used to not dig Mingus so well. Now I think he's just swell!

Everything is against you

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